


Simon vs. Awkward Sex Talks

by givemesumaurgravy



Series: Simon vs. [2]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Getting interrupted, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, POV First Person, Safe Sex Discussions, Sex talks, parent talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:56:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14086428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesumaurgravy/pseuds/givemesumaurgravy
Summary: My mom stands there for a moment, just looking between us and giving me quite the Mom Look. I do my best to look innocent and bashful, but I’m sure it just comes off as completely mortified.“Simon, I’d like to speak to you downstairs, I think,” My mom says, and then exits the room, pointedly leaving the door open halfway.OR, Simon and Bram get walked in on by Simon's mom while making out in his room and it leads to a very uncomfortable (but loving) talk about boundaries and being safe.





	Simon vs. Awkward Sex Talks

**Author's Note:**

> hello, there!
> 
> This is my first Simonverse fic, but definitely not my first m/m fic (if you're interested you can also check out my SKAM or other stuff wink wink nudge nudge)
> 
> I read the book and then went and saw the movie last weekend and seriously canNOT stop thinking about these two and getting all of the feels. Seriously. This movie is just... everything. 
> 
> So without further ado, enjoy this completely self-indulgent fic because I'm a sucker for characters talking about their boundaries and awkward sex talks :)

Simon vs. Awkward Sex Talks

Bram and I have been dating for about a month now, and we have a bit of a routine down now.

Usually, Bram has soccer practice after school, then homework and dinner obligations with his mom, so typically we have to resort to Facetiming on weeknights. 

Saturdays, though, are ours. 

Bram typically comes over in the morning for brunch and then we’ll hang out in my room for the afternoon, either listening to music or watching obscure movies and shows on Netflix. Or, you know, making out in my bed. 

I still haven’t gotten over the thrill of having someone as attractive and sweet as Bram in my bed. 

And so like, okay, we haven’t exactly dared to do much more than just some intense making out, but Jesus, do I want to. I think Bram does, too, if the hard on he’s usually sporting by the time we take a breather is anything to do by. 

This Saturday isn’t much different than any other Saturday. Mom and Dad took Nora with them to the store, trusting Bram and me to behave ourselves enough to be left alone in the house for at least an hour. Mom’s always taken the more trusting approach, telling me she’s ready and there when I’m ready to talk about it, and always informing me that she’d rather I be open and honest with her, no judgement. 

I guess she’s pretty cool sometimes. 

That doesn’t mean that I really am all that keen on intentionally opening up a sex talk with my mother. 

Anyways, the moment we hear the garage door close, Bram makes a suggestive face at me, complete with adorable eyebrow wiggles and we both practically dive onto my bed. Our eagerness makes us both break into a fit of giggles, which we try to calm with tentative kisses. 

We settle eventually, lips moving slower and when Bram bravely teases his tongue along my bottom lip, I melt into him completely. Bram rolls on top of me and I shift to lie on my back, loving how powerful and strong Bram appears when holds himself up over me like this, muscles in his arms tensing as he lowers himself down to continue to assault my lips.

We make out for a bit, lips becoming swollen and red the longer we kiss. Bram has a thing for playful biting, whether it be him nipping at my neck or me boldly taking his bottom lip between my teeth and tugging. I can’t help but admit I like it, too. 

It’s not long before I notice how worked up we’re both getting, knowing that the moment I feel Bram press his hard on into my thigh, we’re going to slow down soon, much, much too soon. I hold Bram to me by the back of the neck and push my tongue deeper into his mouth, moaning lowly as Bram grinds his hips subtly into mine. 

I slide my free hand from Bram’s waist up under his shirt, relishing in the heat of his stomach and chest against the soft pads of my fingers. I rest my palm over Bram’s heart, which is pounding pretty fast. 

It stops me, knowing Bram is so worked up, knowing we should… we should definitely talk. I pull back enough to look at Bram and he just… the look on his face just completely disarms me. His eyes are hooded and dark, mouth swollen and red. He looks so delicious I could cry. 

Bram doesn’t say anything, just sits up a bit and then he’s tugging his shirt off, which I have to point out is not very Bram-like. Bram, sweet, soft, innocent Bram, has _never_ initiated anything more than a kiss. Yet here is perfectly grammatical, sensible Bram half naked and straddling my waist. And hard. Yep. Today must be a day for firsts.

“I…” I manage to choke out, but the rest of my idea fails me. 

Bram just smiles and shakes his head, a soft chuckle on his lips. Then he’s kissing me again, his own hand sliding under my shirt and rucking it up my chest. My own heart is racing now, and I have no idea what’s going to happen next. 

What does happen is not expected, and even though it only takes probably barely a whole ten seconds, it feels like I’m experiencing it is slow motion.

The first thing is that there’s a knock on my door, which is weird because I _thought_ no one was home. 

Bram doesn’t move off me, clearly too concerned with trailing kisses down my neck and sucking on my jaw to register that we’re about to get interrupted. 

Which is exactly what happens, as my mom opens the door and enters my room. 

I’m pretty sure my mom curses as she apologizes, but I can’t be sure as Bram practically flies off me, hastily grabbing a pillow to cover himself (whether he’s aiming to cover his bare chest or prominent bulge, I don’t know). 

My mom stands there for a moment, just looking between us and giving me quite the Mom Look. I do my best to look innocent and bashful, but I’m sure it just comes off as completely mortified. 

“Simon, I’d like to speak to you downstairs, I think,” My mom says, and then exits the room, pointedly leaving the door open halfway. 

“We were definitely supposed to have more time than that,” I say dumbly, by legs feeling jelly-like as I start to make moves to stand. 

Bram is frozen on my bed, though, pillow hugged tightly to his chest. I figure I should check on him, do some damage control before I go and have what will probably be a very uncomfortable talk with my mother. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” I say, reaching for Bram’s wrist. “It’s not like we were really doing anything.”

Bram meets my eyes shyly for a moment, then looks down. “The thing is, though, Simon, I wanted to.”

And… we’re definitely going to need to come back to that… just… not right before I’m supposed to go talk to my mother. Bram must understand, though, because he makes eye contact with me again and smiles. 

“Later, Si. Go talk with your mother. I’ll… be here,” Bram says and I give him one more chaste kiss before standing up and getting my laptop for him to bum around on.

Bram smiles gratefully as he takes the laptop from me and opens it. I watch him for a moment as he pulls up Youtube and begins watching something, I’m not quite sure what. Bram must sense I’m still standing there and just, like, creepily staring at him, because he looks up and gives me a goofy smile. 

“Stop procrastinating and go!” Bram says, laughing. 

I roll my eyes, but turn to leave anyways. As I walk down the hall to the stairs, I fiddle with my hair and clothes, despite already getting caught, I’d rather still play dumb when I get downstairs. 

When I step into the living room, I stop short when I realize my dad is sitting next to my mom on the couch, and, okay, this just got doubly awkward. 

“Have a seat, Simon,” My mom says, and her tone is far too sweet and misleading for the conversation that’s to come.

I sit down, though, despite every cell in my body screaming to run and to run now. I look anywhere but at my parents and rub my clammy palms on the legs of my jeans. I start counting the seconds in my head, my heart pounding faster the longer they make me wait. 

Finally, my mom speaks, “Nora had a migraine so we came home early. You know how nauseous she gets.”

Nauseated, I silently correct in my head. 

I nod, staring down at the carpet now. At least I know Nora won’t be walking in on this awkwardness. Lucky her. She gets to sleep off her nausea. Me on the other hand… 

“Simon, look at me, please,” My mother requests and I snap my eyes up. “It seems like things are getting more serious with Bram, and I wanted to check in with you, in case there’s anything you wanted to talk to us about.”

I want to just shake my head, but I know that probably won’t get me anywhere, so instead I take a deep breath and say, “We’re not… um. We… haven’t… yet.”

Not my most eloquent moment, but it gets my point across. Though my mom still frowns. 

“Simon, that’s not how it appeared to me,” My mom says, but her tone isn’t accusatory, more just concerned. 

“We… that… that wasn’t what it looked like,” I say and I fight the urge to smack myself at delivering such a cliche line. “We truthfully haven’t done anything serious yet. We haven’t even had that sort of talk yet.”

My mom nods, seeming to understand better now that I decided to use my actual words. “It may be beneficial to start talking about it, with Bram I mean, especially if you’re letting yourselves get carried away. We’ve talked about how one thing can lead to another… I just want you to know for yourself first what you’re comfortable with and to know your limits. Same goes for him.”

I nod slowly, understanding that she’s not wrong. I wonder if that is going to be the extent of ‘The Talk’, but then my mom is speaking again.

“As for us not being home, I think we should set some boundaries about what is acceptable behavior when you have the house to yourself.”

My mom looks to my dad for support, and he nods, patting her knee twice and then taking her hand. I want to dig a hole in the ground and escape this conversation.

“Obviously I don’t want to say Bram can’t be here when you’re home alone, I trust you and I want you to understand that, okay? I just… I want you to be smart, Simon. Obviously if you and Bram want to have sex you’ll find a way to do that. I’d just prefer that you’re being respectful of each other if and when you have time without supervision. I’m sure that goes for when you’re at Bram’s home as well.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding and exhaling because that really wasn’t as bad as I imagined it would be.

But then my dad opens his mouth. 

“We realize that a lot of our original ‘birds and the bees’ talk doesn’t exactly apply anymore --” My dad starts to say, but I quickly cut him off. 

“Yeah, I’m going to stop you right there, dad. We’re not going there,” I say, throwing my hands up defensively. 

My dad gives me a look as if to say, _‘but why not?’,_ as if he’s done research or something… and _oh God, he probably did._ Just… _no._

“All I was going to say is protection is still important, Simon,” My dad says and I try not to roll my eyes, still haunted by Bram’s own mother’s _Every Time Even Oral_ rule. 

“I know,” I say, nodding quickly. 

“Do you… are you ready, in that regard?” My dad asks, voice suddenly tight, like he’s finally feeling a fraction as uncomfortable as I am.

I blink at him for a moment, realizing that I, in fact, am not. Since Bram and I haven’t had the talk yet, I guess in a way I’ve just been putting off taking that step to make sure I was prepared. As much as I also wanted to maybe start exploring new parts of our relationship, part of me knew that if I didn’t have what was needed to do such things, we wouldn’t be able to. 

I also didn’t want Bram to think I was being presumptuous if I did happen to have them ready to go.

“Simon,” My dad says. “I can practically see the thoughts flying through your head. Anything you want to talk about?”

“Um,” I start, rubbing my sweaty palms over my thighs. “I just… since we aren’t… there yet… I just… I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet, I guess.”

“Simon,” My mom says, suddenly joining in again. “Whether you’re going to start tomorrow or months from now, it’s better to just be prepared. I know it may not seem as pressing since there’s not a chance to get each other pregnant, but there are still STDs…”

“Mom, I know,” I say, trying not to sound too whiny. “I will take care of it.”

“I just want you to be safe, Simon,” My mom says. “Bram, too.”

I smile at her because when it comes down to it, my parents do just want me to be safe and happy. Even if it means making me want to bash my head against a wall by having awkward safe sex talks with me. I suppose it _is_ kind of a teen rite of passage. 

“And just so we’re extra clear about this,” My dad says. “If you have any questions about any of that stuff, you can always come to us. Though it’s not really my particular area of expertise, I feel like some of my personal experience can translate to your situation and I’ve done some googling…”

“And on that note,” I say, suddenly standing up. “I’m out. Thanks for the talk.”

As I leave the room, I can hear my mom laughing through scolding my father, who of course doesn’t really know what he did wrong. I head back upstairs, suddenly realizing that I’m going to have to have a talk with Bram now. Hopefully a little less painful one.

“How’d it go?” Bram asks, closing my laptop as I enter my room.

“Ugh,” I sigh as I flop down on the bed next to him and cover my face with my hands. 

“That bad?” Bram asks, gently tugging my hands from my face and bringing them to his mouth to kiss them cutely.

“They basically just wanted to make sure we were being safe and respecting each other,” I say, pausing as I twist my hands to play with Bram’s fingers, watching our hands twine together instead of making eye contact with him as I add, “I told them we’re not there yet.”

Bram hums in response, and I have to look up to see what he’s thinking. Bram smiles and I can tell he’s not saying something. I shift onto my side and wait for him to open up.

“Are we… not there yet?” Bram asks, voice quiet and soft. 

“I… I don’t really know,” I say. “I, um, realized while talking with my parents that we should probably have a talk about… all that.”

“Simon,” Bram says, squeezing my fingers. “I know when we were emailing, some things were said, but that was before there was an actual real person on the end, you know? Like, a tangible person who I can actually _do_ those things with. It makes it all so much more real and… and scary.”

I nod, separating one of my hands so I can trace my fingers up and down Bram’s forearm. Bram smiles as he watches the trail of my fingers. 

“I know what you mean,” I say. “I… feel like we’ve done everything a little backwards or something. Like… we fell for each other before even meeting, and now the physical part of our relationship is trying to catch up with the emotional part, if that makes any sense at all.”

“It does,” Bram says, nodding. “I don't want to rush it, though. Only when you’re ready.”

“Are you ready?” I ask, holding my breath as I wait for him to answer.

Bram pauses for a moment, watching me carefully before he nods. “I am. I don’t want to pressure you, Simon. Take your time.”

“Are you like, _prepared?”_ I ask, feeling blush burn my cheeks.

“If you’re asking if I have condoms, I do, and a few other things we might need. I wanted to be ready,” Bram says, and I can’t help but find his confidence in talking about all this very attractive.

At the same time, his comments make my head spin and I’m thankful when he puts a hand on my hip, grounding me. Bram slides closer to me, holding my hand to his chest. 

“Hey, don’t freak out on me, yeah?” Bram says calmly. “I’m good with the pace we have. I’m sorry if I pushed you earlier and made you uncomfortable. It’s good that we’re having this talk though. If there are any boundaries you don’t want me to cross, please let me know.”

I think for a moment, my mind starting to calm a bit as Bram rubs over my side. I lick my lips slowly and meet Bram’s gaze, melting at the warm look in them.

“I liked what happened earlier,” I start, feeling braver as I continue to speak. “I really like kissing you and obviously I find you very attractive. I want to feel closer to you, I just… I don’t think I’m ready for sex yet. I want to keep talking about it, though. I might be ready to try some other stuff. I like that we can be open about it. It doesn’t… feel awkward talking about it with you.”

“I’m glad,” Bram grins. “I like being honest and upfront with you.”

“Me, too,” I say. 

“Want to watch a movie and cuddle?” Bram asks and I nod, already snuggling into his chest. 

Bram grabs my laptop again and pulls up Netflix. We start watching _Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II_ and I smile when I feel our breathing patterns sync up. We’re about twenty minutes in when I feel the need to clarify something.

“I do want it to be you, though,” I say, lifting up and resting my chin on my hands. “I want my first time… my first everything to be with you.”

Bram’s responding smile is huge and I lean in to kiss him. When we part Bram pushes his fingers through my hair. 

“Me, too,” He whispers and I can’t help the butterflies that rise in my chest. 

We settle back into our previous position, calmer now with an underlying thrill of excitement at all that’s to come.

**Author's Note:**

> loved it? hated it? want to simply just scream at me about how freaking adorable Bram and Simon are? 
> 
> see the comment section below and let loose!
> 
> (but seriously, comments feed my soul and keep my skin young)
> 
> <3


End file.
